“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Wayne Dyer
Yes it’s easy to have a sexy mindset when the bills are paid, you look hot, you’re killing it in your chosen career and your love life is on an upswing.
But what about when it’s not all going right?
What happens when life hits you and knocks you on your butt?
What happens when he hasn’t called, you get fired, you have a crushing financial blow or discover you have an incurable or maybe even fatal illness?
This quote is so simple but sometimes it feels so hard to do right? Especially when the proverbial ISH hits the fan.
For example, I’ve been seeing so much discussion about the #metoo campaign. If you’re unaware it’s a social media hashtag people are using to share their stories of survival from various forms of harassment, abuse and assault.
As a result of this campaign many people are feeling a sense of relief, solidarity and increased desire for discussions and activism.
However, other people are feeling sad, triggered, shame, anger and various levels of depression.
Not to mention, there’s natural (or unnatural depending on who you ask) disasters, terrorist attacks, various -isms and phobias, violence and a host of other challenges right now. Fear is present and wild right now mixed with many people feeling a malaise about their lives in general. Especially given everything that’s happening all over the world.
How do you deal?
It’s important for our own survival to be alchemists. We have to be able to transform all this energy into something that can truly serve us all. However, most people can’t go from 0 to 100 overnight.
This month, I’m working with my Mastermind clients around strengthening their mental resiliency. How you snapback to a positive mindset (which is a form of activism and self-care) all while taking care of yourself, creating and supporting the causes that you feel aligned with.
IF you are having a challenging time reaching higher, I get it. You need the space to feel all of this. However, at some point in the words of Meryl Streep, “you have to take your broken heart make it into art.”
Art can be who you are, how you show up and the ways in which you serve humanity with your gifts.
We have a choice. We can choose to let the momentum of the bad thoughts keep us out of our life or we can choose again and allow this darkness to take us higher.
While it may take time here’s a quick formula that can help you gently raise your vibration and increase your own mental resiliency in these very active times:
- Feel it - Give your feelings space. Allow yourself to feel the heartbreak, sadness, rage. Whatever is happening within you needs space to come out. It’s necessary because those dark feelings are a part of you. No judging. Approve of them by giving them space for expression. Be aware of your feelings and express them. I recommend doing it in ways that will move it through your body. Yoga is a great way or turning off the lights and playing dark music and dancing to feel it all is a great start. Cry, scream, whatever. Just give it space to be expressed. The latter is a variation on a technique I learned from Regina Thomashauer (aka “Mama Gena”) called swamping.
- Choose it - Once you’ve got the emotion out, It’s time to take back your power. Recognize YOU are in control of your life and how you want to feel inside it. This can be as simple as saying to yourself, “I am in control of my life. I choose again” or “I choose to see this differently.” You’d be surprised how this simple statement creates some internal shifts if you are in space of WILLINGNESS to let the feelings go. I did it the other day and it totally shifted my perspective about how my day was going.
- Raise it - Now here’s where you step into a higher state. Start focusing on what’s good in your life or good about the situation in general. Now with the latter, you may not be ready to see the gift of the situation. That’s ok. You can however see what’s good in your life overall. Reach for something that feels just a little better. Something you can believe. Usually, you can’t go from “I feel like shit” to “I feel amazing” in one swoop and that’s ok. No judgment there.
However, you may be able to reach for something slightly better like, “I am grateful that I have the ability to feel my emotions” or “Even though the faucet has a leak, I’m grateful that my landlord is responsive.” Either set of emotions (positive or negative) will gain momentum. It’s where you choose to focus. So from there, just keep choosing slightly better feeling thoughts until you feel better.
I want you to try this. I know that sometimes it feels like something even this simple doesn’t feel like it will work. However, what do you have to lose by trying it other than those icky feelings?
Once you do, let me know how it went for you by leaving a comment. I want to hear from you.
It’s time for us to decide how we want to live this life and move towards it. It starts with how we choose to see it. Let’s shift our perspective and maybe just maybe, what we see will change too.
With Fierce Love,